


Sexy/Bad Time?: A James x Sans Fanfiction

by Starry_Neko_Maid



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bonezone, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Shenanigans, Terrible writing, cringy af, im so sorry, spelling mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starry_Neko_Maid/pseuds/Starry_Neko_Maid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is a longtime friend of Sans the Skeleton and has anime kokoro crush on him. Will he get bonezoned?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexy/Bad Time?: A James x Sans Fanfiction

**Author's Note:**

> I come back, and this is what I post since like about a year or something. My friend taffyartfull asked me and another friend of ours to write uber cringy fanfiction about James, the one who sang A Stronger Than You parody for Sans. Welp, get ready for stupid shenanigans, suffering, and the worst fan fiction I've ever written so far.

 

 

> Hello, the name’s James the BEST voice person EVA! No one can compete against me, not even aaaaaaaallllllll the voice actors and singers in hte world! Anyways...

It wsa a bootiful day outside, birbs be bombing, floweys be singing… On days like deez…

Ima churro!

•  
•  
•

Wat shite I fcuked up. I sighed, trudging fortherm intu hte wite shite called sno. Y is sno a thing guise liek, butt liek it so fun u don't understand. Butt I digressed far too much, becuz I think I'm nearly intu hte code right nao so hold up.

_~Gotta go fast at teh sped of soond becuz holy shit I want sanic to be prude of me_

Aaaaawwww yisssss finally got back to were I was! …. Teh Christmas tree?? Wait, I went two far. Some backtracking I did, I arrived at the skele house. I'm meting me best buddy bud pal friend amigo chummy chum chum pal sands the skelton. He hte best skellington in snowdin, no offence papaya, butt it tru.

I finaly reached teh doorsteo and was abut to knock but oh shit it dat boi! He did a wave, and I called out, “O shit waddup!” I felt liek the luckiest man, way more lucky than dat lucky charm leprechaun! I laughed and raised my hand to knock on the durr. Three times and papaya answered with hte door.

“Oh ‘ello dere hooman! Ur the home slice bread slice amigo me brutha sans call rite?”

“It SAND S papaya!” I corrected.

The papaya skellie shook his head bone. “Nah, it sans. I know becuz I'm his brutha.” He moved outta deh way and invited me in. “Sans will be down in a moment.”

I took a seat on there couch, and I sew the sock that had liek a bajillion sticky notes on it. I picke one up (except it wa liek stow), and it was in the usual convo betwen papaya ad sands.

**SANS PIKE UP JOU SOCK NAO!!!**

_Ok_

**I MEAN IT**

_Neva_

I seal laughed becuz dis is the best shit in town. I turned me head and gasped. Sands was there with some sketti.

“Ey buddy bud pal friend amigo chummy chum chum pal.” He took a helluva sexy bite out of the sketti, livking his nonexistent lips. “Sup?”

“You nearly gave me a frighten baka sands!” A super shoujo blush decorated my uber kawaii bara face.

“Ah sorry bruh,” he nonchalantly said with a skellton smile.

“Your v lucky that I liek you sands,” I murmured.

“Sorry wat? Did you say somethin’?” sands questioned, brow bone raised in some kind of emotion.

“NO!” I cried out in embarrassment, anime blush on my face.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

  
“Sands, dis is getting a bit uncomfortable…” I said, leaning back onto the arm of the couch, my chocolate orbs elsewhere.

“Kinda is,” he agreed, taking in more spaketti. Suddenly, his face got uber small, so he placed the plate down on the coffee table. “I just realized that I can’t really eat.” Unzipping his jacket, he started to pick out the spaghet from his ribs, his totally ripped ribs filled with bone muscle.

I made that face when I’m for sum reason embarrassed, turning a bit manga blush.

“Well, your a skeletone. How could you forget sands?” I honestly hoped my voice wasn’t typical anime girl high.

He shregged. “Dunno home slice chummy chum pal.” His sexy ribs were now mostly riddled red from the mariner from Papaya’s spaghs and some odd bits like meatballs and sum gourmet sesonings.

I couldn’t kelp my eyes from his high quality bones, and I nearly jumped a foot in the air when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey buddy ol’ pal. Wanna wait in my rum as I take a shower?”

I pulled a face. “You guys have a bathroom?”

His brow bone went all the way up to the ceiling. “Ye? Who wouldn't have one in a house?”

And with that I was in his rum, waiting on the bed as he toke a showr. His rum isn't all that fancy to be honest. There's a bed, a dresser, piles of dirty clothing, a closet (to which I don't understand why he needed one. If anything, papaya needed one becuz he try to be all cool and shit), a cumploter, and… A treadmill……..

•  
•  
•

Why the hell did sands need one of those if he's like the laziest ~~person~~ skellington I know?

Signings I get up and decided to peek in the closet becus why the fuck not? Opening it, a see…

More piles of clothing and a box filled with bones. I don't think i wanna know. Closing it, sands voice made my head stuck in the ceiling cebause I jumped waaaaay too high.

“God fucking dammit sandy!” My voice was muffled, but I was sure he could hear me. I flipped him two birds. “Fuck you sands!”

“I think I would be the one fucking you tbh but…”

I felt something pull my legs, and I helped when my head popped out of the cieling.

“Whateva floats your goat man.” He flicked his glowing bluh hand towards his bed, dumping me onto the sheets. He was only in a towel and was covered in trails of water my uber shoujo face turned a kawaii red.

I grabbed handful of clothes from the dirty pile next to me and threw it at him as I screamed, “put some clothes one Baka sands!”

I could hear the sirk as he said, “I thought you liked it when I don't have any?”

I turned a tsundere red. “When the hell I said that teme!?”

“When you slept over that one time?”

“What!? I never-!

“In ur sleep.”

That's it, I'm a lobster that's dying in a boiling pot. Ducking my head, i immediately wished for the ground to swallow me whole or maybe I would let flowey kill me… Nah, I would rather die by one of the temmies. They're way cooler and more kawaii than flowey.

“Hey home slice bread slice jam churro.”

“What?” I said without lifting my head up.

A boney hand grasped my shoujo chin and forced me to look up his glowey blue eye and white pupil. “Do you like me?”

“As a bro?” I squeaked.

“No, no bro crushes. As in like like like.”

I threw a confused face at his sexy boney one. “I don't….”

“Hm, how am I gonna explain this in your terms?” He removed his hand from my chin to rub his nonexistent one, humming. “Oh, I know.”

Suddenly, a sparkly background appeared behind him and a blue anime blush covered his cheekbones. When the FUCJ can skeltons blush? They don't even have blood vessels.

“Jam churro you make my blue kokoro go doki doki. Please don't broki broki it too hard if you're gonna reject me.”

I died and went to heaven.

•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•

Jk, my temperature went all the way up to a Vulkin, and I immediately said yes.

“You've had my kokoro since like you told your

good shit go౦ԁ sHit  thats  some good  shit right  there    right there   if i do ƽaү so my self  i say so  thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ  НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ        Good shit

Puns!”

 

His eyes were wide. “Holy shit really?”

 

“Yes really!”

 

His grin was impossible wide. “Would u liek to do the boenzoen?”

~~~

Papyrus was walking upstairs with Sans unfinished spaghetti, since well, he usually ate it all. Upon reaching the door to his room, he raised his boxing gloved hand to knock.

 

“Sans? You left your spagh-”

 

“Sands… Are you sure it won't burn me?”

 

That was James.

 

“Don't worry, the light side will take good care of you.”

 

‘Nyeh? The light side?’

 

And then he heard the light saber sound.

 

“ **OH MY GOD SANS!!!** ”

  
Jam was brought to the bonezone, Sands was now churro’s boyfriend, and Papaya was scarred for life.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I gave up writing like some twelve year old or something near the end. Eh, whatever. It's done.


End file.
